The Thought Confronts His Demons: “I Thought You Loved Me” (Album Review)
“I Thought You Loved Me” is an incredibly vulnerable exploration of The Thought’s childhood. Jack Mabie was born in the mid-’90s in southern California. He grew up listening to a plethora of different kinds of music, which lead him to picking up the bass and attempting to take a stab at playing in some rock bands. Which, after a few failed attempts, lead him to poetry. After honing his craft, he became enamored by the rap scene in Pomona, Ca. He played a few of the local festivals and later became a member of BLAQNOIZ, a collaborative collective of artists working in Pomona.
Jack’s flow is a mixture of cement. There’s a layer of smoothness just above the rough texture. His ability for storytelling is immaculate. A skill he uses throughout the album. He’s a bricklayer of run-on sentences and metaphors. All of these skills and abilities are nice but without context, they’re just nice. The purpose of this album is to show a light and become a beacon. Jack uses the horrors of his adolescence to tell a tale of overcoming your abuse.
The album opens with “Mt. Angelus”. The opening words are, “What’s the first year you remember?” and then the track starts. This lead me to believe that this was supposed to be a therapist talking (or maybe a hypnotist) asking Jack about his past. The album follows Jack literally, as several houses and street names are littered throughout, to show Jack’s progression.
“Hampden” is eating boiling soup filled with nails. The crutch of the album, Jack describes his abuse from his father growing up. No, not abuse; rape. This critically sensitive material is treated as such. The opening of the track is a soft look behind the curtain of his family dynamic and living situations. The track then turns menacing and haunting as Jack starts to describe the actions of his father. It’s gut-churning and hypnotic. Jack’s talent in descriptors become almost too good. Backups vocals featuring heavy breathing amplifies the verse to unnerving heights.
In no way is this album a form of exploitation, but a form of therapy. It’s also not about the abuse, but living with that abuse. It’s about your abuser being family and you becoming the scapegoat. It’s about the effects of normalizing abuse. It’s about creating haunted houses by filling them with the ghosts of your past.
“Hampden” is the second song of the album. Ripping the bandaid off at the start, Jack leaves the rest of the album open to explore his psyche and what makes him, him. He describes the difficult relationships with his brother and mother after telling them about the abuse. The troubled relationships he’s had due to lack of social connections and PTSD with intimacy. Jack is letting it all out; for his sake, and ours.
Jack said that he wanted to make this album for people who have gone through the same experiences he had and give them a release. He wanted to share his experiences in hopes people who have gone through the same, find catharsis in knowing they’re not alone. The album ends with Jack finding his center on Center st. The album follows a map of homes Jack has inhabited and he’s finally found his home and himself.
“I Thought You Loved Me” is a work of art. Apart from the great production provided by, Lv. Agn, Mozenraff, Whose, and Day One and being mix/mastered by Jack himself, the content is heartfelt and needed. The album isn’t full of shock value lines of sexual abuse for the sake of attention. The content is treated as importantly as it should, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. After the many trials and tribulations, Jack is ready to share his story about fighting through Hell to be free.
“I Thought You Loved Me” is available everywhere
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